Tuesday, July 03, 2018

Grey sky

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim.
Assalamualaikum sahabat lama.

It's July 2018. So now I'm back to write something.

2006-2018. 12 years.
It's amazing that I still had not forget about you just yet. Saya sedar semakin lama semakin jarang saya berkunjung ke tempat ini. This blog. I miss the good old days, but now that I think about it, I think I am always that girl with a sad soul holding sad stories. What is 'good' to be missed then? My life since 2005 has never been easy. I struggle to survive through ups and down. All those while I tried my hardest to appear normal but deep down I always wonder why did I always go against what other people ask me to do.

Has my story has always been written this way?
A punishment?
I must have sin a lot.

My entire 20th was a nightmare that haunts.
WHY?
Because it all started few months before I reach 20, and ended also few months after I reach 30. It took 10 years to end the suffering, I wonder how many years more do I have to wait to fully recover this broken pieces?

I still don't have strength yet. But knowing myself, I think this is the only way for me to recover. I have to come clean, keep nothing hidden, being true to myself. I need to blog again. I think I need it. Maybe I should. What do you think.

*deep sigh*

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Thanks for simply being here! *love*