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17/10/2016 (02)

Monday, October 17, 2016


Here to calm myself. Payah kalau jenis memendam ni. Bukan sebab orang tidak faham, tapi sendiri yang rasa orang tak perlu faham. Why do I have to feel like this.

17th October 2016

My blog header, my profile pictures.. Need to change. Profile picture sebelah ni dari, 2 years ago I think. Haha. Lamanya nda tukar langsung. I still remember I have a blog. Selalu nak update tapi nantilah nantilah sampai berbulan-bulan hampir makan tahun agaknya jika hari ni tidak spontan terbukak blog. Haha. Ni pun sekejap saja, sebab sekejap lagi kena bersiap got dinner date with the family tonight. At our usual place :)




I am now busy with KTrips and Tari Kirana. Latihan tiap malam, berhuha tiap malam. Layan whatsapp tiap hari - 24/7 everyday. Somehow the emptiness terisi juga sedikit. Balik pada blog yang satu ini, bagai kembali pada seorang sahabat lama. Terasa nak cerita semua sepanjang beberapa bulan ini. Terasa mahu menangis. Ketawa. Menjerit. Dan bercerita tentang segala suka dan duka. Yang lucu, yang meruntun hati. Masam dan manis. Wahai sahabat lama, adakah kau sedang mendengar?




I think I am doing pretty good now. My daily life so occupied. No more termenung (okey maybe sometimes), no more weeping for no reason. Ada pun, kerana perasaan lega. Bercampur sedikit dengan kesedihan, tapi lega itu yang paling banyak. My anxiety sudah jarang datang. But trauma is still there. Trauma payah sikit hilang, but as one of my friend cakap,..

"..this too shall pass."

I remember those day. Those days has passed. And yes. This too, the saki baki sedu sedan and the trauma, shall pass. One day, I'll look back taking one last look, move on and never look back ever again.

I am just a normal human being. Sometimes I'll find somebody to blame. I will try to blame. Myself atau orang lain. So, entah. I am no malaikat, but I'll eventually learn to forgive I guess.

Bye for now.
 
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