Wednesday, November 27, 2013

Untitled.

It's been long. 

And sometimes I hate seeing myself in pictures. Or even in mirrors. Because it will clearly show me a face who suffer a lot.

What ever happen, I will keep it only by myself. 
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Friday, November 22, 2013

Google Friend Connect in Classic Blogger. Did it!

Merujuk entri ini : Dear bloggers, pretty please?

Harapnya kali ni saya buat dengan betul. Kinda funny after 5 years using Classic Blogger template, suddenly I got way to apply this widget here. I thought it's only applicable in advanced New Blogger layout :




If this REALLY works, I'm brilliant! Feel free. If there's anything wrong again, please please PLEASE do tell me since I can't do it only by myself. T____T
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Dear bloggers, Pretty please?


Can some you please be a darling and do me some favor?


Thing is, I just figured out that some of my friends did clicked my follow button up there but weird cuz it didn't actually work the way it should. Or the way it seems. My feeds did not appear on her blogger dashboard and my total amount of follower didn't change. How come?

Thanks Fae (hi fae! will put your link here first thing tomorrow. susah sikit tulis entri guna handset ni) for telling me.



Nope, masih tiada pertambahan dalam jumlah follower T______T

Now I need you guys help me jika sudi, click butang "FOLLOW SOPHIESM.COM" dekat atas tu and kindly tell me what you see. See if everything is okey. Sebab if tak berfungsi juga, I might just change this blog layout. Sebab memang masalah coding ni. Been using classic blogger templates for 5 years now but I'd never know this, plus, by time, my blog followers always increasing. Maybe it's something to do with my current new template. So.. Help ya *sobs*



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Thursday, November 21, 2013

Persiapan kahwin : Kain bulu beli mana?

Salam all. Just a fast entry here. Merujuk entri ini. Engagement Day Review : Mini Pelamin.

http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-AEWiRvybYaw/UEfAoGJD53I/AAAAAAAAEkg/7wj8iyGWKhY/s1600/IMG_1864.JPG


http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-2_2kk074rLY/UDz308xVf4I/AAAAAAAAEiU/6Za1jtaTxRQ/s1600/IMG_1897.JPG
 Mini dais / Mini pelamin + Hantaran Tunang

Inilah dia hasil kerja tangan I setahun lepas, tak berapa semenggah tapi dihasilkan dengan penuh kasih sayang.



Baik, menjawab soalan si cantik manis namanya Ayu (hai ayu!). Dan of course, if ada yang tercari-cari dan tersinggah blog ni boleh baca sekali.

Ada 2 jenis kain bulu di dua gambar paling atas ni. Sampai 2 jenis kain bulu aku beli tu. Gara-gara aku ni nakkkk sangat kain bulu putih. Gara-gara blogwalk banyak sangat time buat persiapan. Bakal tunang (sekarang ni dah sah jadi husband) time tu pun sangat sporting, ikutkan saja. Sabarlah wahai para bakal pengantin lelaki, time-time nak majlis tak kiralah majlis tunang or nikah, perempuan memang agak lain sikit jadinya. Jadi bridezilla. Itu nak ini nak, cepat drooling macam-macam. Kenangkan duit saja baru terbantut sikit nafsa mengada-ngada tu wakaka.

1) Yang balut sofa tu beli dari KAMDAR. 4-5 kali gak pergi Kamdar 1Borneo update stok diorang. Gigih sungguh. Jenuh tunggu. Hari-hari google mana nak dapat kain bulu tu. Diorang cakap memang stok cepat habis. Last-last after beli #2 baru dapat. Kebetulan saja-saja singgah manatau ada, dan gila excited kami berdua sebab stok diorang dah sampaiiii. Saya excited sebab nak beli, bakal tunang excited sebab? Tak payah dengar bunyi 'kain bulu' hari-hari XD. Saya sambar juga dalam 3-4 meter walaupun dah beli #2. Kononnya nak bikin tutup sofa hijau tu (sofa hijau di atas di sebalik kain bulu Kamdar) :P

Siapa yang nak cepat-cepat pergi Kamdar berdekatan. Dalam RM20 plus2 semeter lepas diskaun. Bidang besar.

2) Yang sebelah kiri dan kanan dan cover lantai tu kain bulu jenis yang sama. Actually kain bulu dekat lantai tu dekat bawah dia ada carpet colourful sama saiz dengan saiz kain bulu tu. If tak buat macam tu nanti kain bulu tu cepat terbongkar sebab takda base. Dari jauh nampak lg berbulu dari #1 kan. Saya suka #2 ni. Tebal sikit dari #1. Ini, saya beli dekat Wah Yoon di Sinsuran Kota Kinabalu. Err maaf saya tidak pasti dekat semenanjung Wah Yoon ada dekat mana. Tapi mestilah kedai textile lain pun ada jual kan. Saya beli di Wah Yoon RM30 plus2 semeter. Bidang kecil sikit dari #1.

Update
  • #1 murah sikit dari #2
  • #1 lembut dan gebu dan rasa mewah dan hampir-hampir macam baldu tapi bukan macam baldu (apakah). #2kasar sikit tapi bulu panjang dan jarang-jarang so dari jauh nampak dah kebuluan iteww.
  • #1 mungkin senang sikit nak cari sebab Kamdar ada serata negara. Banyak cawangan.
  • #1 bidang besar sikit
  • #1 nipis sikit dari #2

Hope this will help.*smile*

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Wednesday, November 20, 2013

Killed.

Hai alhamdulillah. Pukul 5 petang dalam lagi 3 minit waktu mula menulis. Dipanjangkan usia lagi sehari dan mampu menghirup udara segar di bumi Ranau ini, dan berharap moga diri ini dipanjangkan lagi usia kerana masih banyak keinginan dan impian yang mahu dicapai. Selama mana takdir mengizinkan. *senyum lirih*

I swear I had at least one point when I started this entry. A little bit hard to put it into words as it's buried so deep inside. My own vocabulary can't even find it. Maybe it has been there the whole time. Hiding, lost and killed. But to be random, I just want to say that I was a girl who keeps running away from everything. And still am. I might have ran thousands of miles now. And for that, I really really really by all mean, hate myself.

I love my life, nevertheless. I can't help to ask for more and for better, but I still am grateful for what I have today. I don't starve, in fact sometimes I eat like beast. I still have time for jokes and good laughter. I have my friends who will always be there for me even when they are miles away (million thanks girls!), a husband who will never let go off my hands, and both families I have that would always understand me. Alhamdulillah.. The odds are actually in my favor.

Ada seorang wanita bijak aku kenal, pernah berkata :


9.49 pagi 20 November 2013

The reason why I don't make new different entry, is because I am still in the mood. And my sudden goodbye yesterday was so unprepared. I still want to write more.

This is it.

Aku masih ingat jelas dan terang lagi. Di sini, waktu awal 20an, aku pernah melaungkan kata-kata bahawa biar hidup ini tidak pernah menyesal *geleng kepala* Wish I could go back and tell myself what I know now. Tell myself that that's just bullshit. As I grow older, there's so much reason that pathetic people like me want to build the time machine. I even have those time when, everytime after I turn back the pages of my diaries and blog entries, I curled and take my sweet time doing all the crying and weeping and crying and weeping and break....  Never ending tears. For YEARS.

Sometimes I ask myself, what use of it? It's true that I made a few moves without being certain in the past. It's true that now, I might regret the way it ended, but it also true that I will never regret what I had back then. It's past days, called memories. I hold them too dearly and caused myself to go through this painful, long and confusing process of figuring out who I am and what I want to do with my life. And now, despite it all, I chose what kind of life I want to live. I chose where I wish to spend all my life, what I want to do / achieve before I die. I learn life the hardest way, and still am.

Walau apa pun terjadi. Aku punya Allah, dan lengan suami untuk aku bersandar dan bermanja. Aku ada diri aku sendiri untuk aku tetap kuat.

Baik. I typed enough for now. :)
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Saturday, November 16, 2013

Please don't give up!


I sayang this phone *smile*


I always love Eiffel Tower by heart and anything that resembles it. From sketches, to the real pictures. From just miniatures, to the city of Paris where Eiffel beautifully stands. I see them, and I see my own tiny, fragile heart surrounded by fire. I see them and I see how big my dreams are.

Hai, kembali dengan imej berbeza lagi walaupun baru tukar design blog tidak lama dulu. Bhahah! Modify blog lagi sebab seronok buat benda ni. Macam biasa, white background. A touch of dusty pink (html code : #d58a94) here and there. This time I keep it less pinkish than my previous one. Reason? I get bored. Width keseluruhan lebih lebar (previous 800px), dan width post pun saya lebarkan juga (previous 600px) so saya boleh post bigger images since I already received my DSLR itu pun kalau rajin take picturelah. I am so malas nowadays. I remember those times on 2008-2010 when I blog everyday..

Anyway!!

Malu sebenarnya bila fikir saya tulis ini untuk orang baca. Malu sebab sebenarnya orang mana kisah. Let's just be honest. Bersosial secara online, kita hanya akan jumpa 3 jenis. #1, kawan-kawan baik yang benar-benar peduli. 2# Sebenarnya tidak peduli. 3# Terlebih peduli sampai tulis sikit dah macam-macam huraian ohsojudgemental dia. Tiga-tiga sentiasa lalu lalang. Bukan setakat dalam kehidupan sebenar saja, dalam social networks pun ada. Orang-orang dari real life dan muncul di social network berperangai 3# pun ada.

There. Dengan tidak semena-mena saya termembebel pula. Anggap saja ini saya tulis sambil bercakap dengan diri sendiri. Anggap ini diari bawah bantal yang terlihat tanpa sengaja :P



I am starting this with some changes on how am I going to blog.

1. Less rojak inggeris+melayu. I will just try - this usually will end up to be in a series of vain attempt. I tend to rojak things but it's not good as I should just be myself because - reality check! - I speak only Malay and cursing language, other than that, I'll just sink.

Actually kan, kalau fikir betul-betul, my diaries dari sekolah menengah lagi are full of rojak inggeris+melayu dan kata ganti diri 'aku'. Kerana saya dari dulu, sejak sekolah rendah lagi sangat-sangat suka menulis. Tulis tulis tulis. Lukis lukis lukis. At the end, I dah tak melukis dah but still tulis tulis tulis. I still remember, I developed into writing real diaries waktu sekolah menengah bila mula beli real diaries bermula di tingkatan 3. Sejak itu, tiap hari update diari. How time flies. I've been writing to myself for almost 13 years now. Dalam sekelip mata sahaja, dari sweet 15 ke sweet 26 dan 1st Disember ni masuk sweet 27 yang penting masih sweet dan still nampak macam awal 20-an thehehee. Dan menerusi bukti-bukti dari dalam diari lama dan currently blog, saya sememangnya bukan competent user of English. Dan terbukti dari dahulu kala lagi yang saya memang suka merojak-rojakkan bahasa. Kebiasaan yang perlu dikurangkan sebab keterlaluan I know.

2. Less 'saya', and bawa balik the usage of 'aku'. 3 years out if 13 years of using 'saya', rasanya cukup polite dah. Now, welcome to the real me.

Now that we bring out the subject, I tell you something. Menulis dalam diari, saya tak ada kawal-kawal gaya penulisan. Serius saya dalam diari suka menyumpah sampai puas hati T__T Sebab boleh tulis apa sahaja tak payah fikir dua kali dan tak payah tekan butang backspace. But that was years ago. Sejak start blog, sesuaikan diri dengan cara menulis yang baru, tersusun dan terjaga sedikit bahasanya. Dalam blog pula banyak barrier. Jaga ejaan, jaga paragraph, jaga alignment. Belum masuk soal jaga hati, jaga lidah, dan jaga trafik(?). Mungkin out there banyak jadikan blog untuk tujuan komersil, but I know exactly what brought me here and why I am still here. Reason is, I want to be able to say things I might not be able to say in my real life.

But lately I feel like I blog for nothing. Jika dulu saya rasa blog medium terdekat untuk mengenali saya, namun sekarang ini saya kira saya tidak kenal tulisan saya sendiri. Rasa asing sangat. Maybe if saya bawa balik gaya menulis yang saya rasa paling selesa, walaupun kasar sedikit, tapi paling penting ia datang dari hati kan. Entahlah. Mungkin sebenarnya bukan sebab cara menulis pun. Alasan semata-mata. Dah memang life kau begitu. Tak payah bagi alasan lame. Basi sangat. Heh.

What's behind, fikiran agak resah sekarang ni. When I'm changing something in my life, it means something is hurting me. I do this just an attempt to tell myself I AM brave and I WILL always be brave. An attempt to appear happier. Or wut eva (ejaan gedik dengan ekspresi). Kadang-kadang rasa macam nak turn back everything. Real life are hard. I like the idea of hibernating. Refusing to see things I do not want to see. Wake up after 5 years later when everything go right. But that's impossible. Even if my heart and my life are fragile, I still have to do this. I managed to do this so far so why can't now?


Didn't I have Eiffel in my heart? *smile*



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Monday, November 11, 2013

Sophie's Travel Log



Telupid 1987-2005
Beluran + Sandakan occasionally 1993-1998
Kuala Lumpur 2000
Muar, Johor 2000
Melaka 2000
Kedah 2006-2010
Jitra + Changlun + Alor Star occasionally 2006-2010
Langkawi 2007
Lumut, Perak 2008 & 2009
Ulu Legong 2008 & 2009
 Tanjung Dawai, Kedah 2008
Yan, Kedah 2008 & 2009
Sungai Petani 2009
Pekan, Pahang 2009
Tawau 2007 & 2011
Kuala Perlis 2009
Padang Besar 2009
Penang 2009
Danok, Thailand 2010
Ranau 2010-current
Kundasang 2011-current
Simpang Mengayau, Kudat 2011
Kota Belud 2011
Kota Kinabalu occasionally 2010-current
Tanak Nabalu in The Lost Village 2011
[insya-Allah] Johor 2014
[insya-Allah] Singapore 2014
[insya-Allah] Penang 2014
[insya-Allah] Kuala Perlis 2014
[insya-Allah] Kedah 2014
[insya-Allah] Langkawi 2014
[insya-Allah] Hatyai, Thailand 2014
[insya-Allah] Krabi, Thailand 2014
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Friday, November 08, 2013

Another hallucination.

I do not want the process. I want it to end quickly or at least, back to normal. As soon as possible. Aku penat. Because the more I think about it, the more I think I'll die. If I don't let go I'll die. Wait I think I will just die.

There. When negativity strikes.


 

Sometimes the sadness stays no matter how hard you force yourself to be happy
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Friday, November 01, 2013

I think I am weird

You wanna know how weird I am? Tell me that I am not the only one.

01. I fart too.
02. Used to smile a lot when I was younger but now I frown for no reason at all. Just because.
03. I was a traditional dancer and I've been actively managing a group of dancer. I love make-ups. I got complete set of brushes and make-ups, I know basic and advanced knowledge about make-up. I've been there for years but I don't like wearing it myself. I feel weird.
04. I tak pandai layan kids. I feel weird.
05. I like to see pretty girls. Especially when they're not trying so hard.
06. I am scared at chinese men.
07. I am annoying and get annoyed easily
08. I am garang.
09. I swear a lot #$%^& :)
10. Despite it all, surprisingly my sense of humor is not that bad. I laugh a lot. Big ones.
11. I love to get myself sweating.
12. I wish my name is Fina Sophie.
13. I love number 1.
14. I'm 27 but I still feel young and free.
15. I love freedom
16. I love to be silly and rock things out
17. I schedule, assign, and order myself a lot
18. I'm a gadget fan. 1 laptop, 1 smartphone, 1 dslr (coming soon). Enough :)
19. I’m an unashamed web addict. I could spend 24 hours a day online, usually doing random craps with no real goal
20. I am self centered
21. I am used to awkwardness
22. I love to sell things
23. Suka tengok bulan penuh. 
24. If I wouldn't appear crazy, I would sing loudly everytime.
25. I think I am weird which is why I love people who makes me feel normal.

Oh! 1 thing. Saya sedang dalam proses kemaskini link blogger, so if you want to be in it, just put your link below thanks.
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