Three weeks had passed..

May 15, 2011

You see, I'm forgetful - usually of the bad things that have happened to me.

He came my way today and.. When I see him, I see all the good times we had. I see him and felt all the good feelings I've felt while I am still with him. I miss spending the whole day with him, I miss our silly jokes, I miss our finger-shuffling competition, I miss all the first-times when I was with him, I miss all the best times we have had, and I miss looking in his eyes and say "I love you, Sayang..". And I miss his mother too (- -")

But I forgot all the pain that came with it.

I forgot the ride to the Garden Cafe, in attempt to make everything just right between us.

I forgot every little thing I've done ; rearranging my room and everything., - Every silent runaway from the pain of remembering the look in his eyes, remembering how he giving up on us so easily. Sad seeing the end of us.

I forgot how he refuses to answer most of my texts and calls.

I forgot how I desperately tried to cheer myself up, by running away. To places, to my friends - Anywhere I can or whoever, if it means I don't have to be alone.

I forgot how much I cried at night, every night to sleep for more than a week.

Yes. I forgot all the pain.

I suppose what hurts me the most at that time and it still does - He turned into everything he said he would never be. Did I not mean anything to him for him to have let me go, at first sight of confusion in our relationship?

I do find myself missing you. The part of you that was gentle to me, loving to me, and made me feel like I was the only one who mattered.. *sigh* No matter what, I've always had, and will always do have a soft spot for you. Regardless of what other people are saying about you.

You're an amazing person. You're charismatic, loves challenges, funny, and full of energy and regardless what has happened between us and what others told me about your bad part, I am standing by what I saw in you. You are who you are - You're not really a bad person, in fact, you're a great friend. But perhaps, ALLAH has His better plan for us.

Soon you will find out, that I probably do, I always sayang you, and always care about you, even MORE than those who have been and will be in your life after me.

If only you had known what I was willing to give you, and do for you, if you given us the chance, 3 weeks ago - Back to the time where we still can work things out.

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  1. be brave. :) It's all had b decided by Him. =D

  2. i cant help but feel sad for you.
    be strong.
    and yes, He has better plans for you.

  3. Im sorry you had to go thru that, Fina. But look on the bright side. Suddenly you are getting more poetic and your words are so deep almost anyone can relate to those feelings through them. I hope you pull through just fine. hang on in there...

  4. Si KuCar KaciR,
    sure is. i will be.. thanks so much dear. satu line ayat sj, but it means a lot to me :)

  5. Arief Arf,
    ups and downs. :D

  6. Coffee Girl,
    ya.. the good thing is, i got inspired way better than before. theehehe.

    thanks so much dear. head up high! :)