He made a rebel of her guarded heart ♥

February 18, 2011

Took some of my time thinking about my past, when hearing lagu "Fifteen" by Taylor Swift. I was fifteen, when the first mess was made.. BUT NOW, I hardly can remember how it felt before. For the first time in my life, I can't believe the magic I've been feeling for these past three weeks has completely erased all the burden I felt about my first love..

Yes, three weeks had passed. Three weeks of keeping secrets, three weeks in a deep thinking. I lost my words, I can't even blog properly. Yang rajin jenguk my Facebook mungkin boleh teka what had happen. You can easily guess lah..  Memang saya sendiri nak gelak pada diri sendiri, how you guys always found me fall in love (?) with different person everytime. Tak payah gelakkan, saya sendiri boleh gelakkan diri sendiri. Feel bad pun iya, feel funny pun iya.

Love found me ..once I let it go. Magic. Can you believe it? Dan sebenarnya, memang ada sesuatu yang saya ingin sampaikan sewaktu menulis entri-entri lain sepanjang 3 minggu lepas. Ada yang password protected segalanya, well, now, I think it's time to be honest with my own belog. Saya dah tak mahu rasa terpasung untuk mengungkapkan semuanya..

Saya dapat agak, ada pihak yang tidak setuju dengan perhubungan kami ini. Saya tahu. 3 minggu ini saya berdiam diri, demi menjaga hati semua pihak walaupun saya sendiri terluka kerana merahsiakan semua. Hati dia pun terluka, tapi saya tahu dia faham. Dan detik ini, I knew I've found the strength to speak out, I am giving up this fear, fear of what would happen if THEY ever knew I am in love with him.

They asked, why? Why him?

Do we really need reasons to fall in love? Do we really need something to hold on to just to fall in love? Do we? Tell me.

No body ever brought this kind of happiness before him. It's like, this is my first time being truly happy, of my entire crappy life. He might have nothing  MORE compare to other guys I'd ever met or close with. He's just a normal guy, very ordinary. Ordinary, but something in him feels just amazing. I wasn't expecting him, he wasn't expecting me. We live a very different life, tapi akhirnya kami hadir secara tidak sengaja dalam hidup masing-masing. Since the first day I met him, I saw the life I'd never dream to live in.. The feeling he made me feel is nothing to compare, never been dreaming of this. Never knew LOVE could be this beautiful.. Alhamdulillah.

Biar saya hadapi semua ini dengan senyuman, semua yang bakal terjadi biar terjadi (lirik lagu?). If I ever get hurt again, this is still my life. I don't wanna stress out about the future, it hasn't come yet. Never mind the hurt, I can bear with it. It is now, or never. I am in love, it is all that matter now.

Saya masih ingat saya pernah berkata, no love before marriage.. *blush* Just so you know, I am still holding on to it. Kami sebetulnya masih dalam proses mengenali hati budi masing-masing. I remember, once I said saya akan serah soal jodoh pada parents bila selepas 25 saya masih belum jumpa yang sesuai. I am 25 this year, remember? No time playing around - I'd never play around dalam soal CINTA, anyway. I am always serious talking about it, I always try to work it out everytime I am in a relationship, but I took so much time and wasted so much tears to finally found the right one. The rainbow is worth the rain.

This time, this naughty guy had completely made a rebel of my guarded heart. 

Enough for now.. Maybe I will take time cerita how we met..

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