Tell me how?

October 21, 2010

I should be happily sleeping by now, tapi tak. Mata sepet segar bugar. Just finished FB chat with one of my girlfriend. Line tak okey sebenarnya lepas tu cerita punya cerita dengan dia, line bagus pula. Sekarang dah nak pukul 3 pagi so hampir 3 jam juga kami borak pergh lamanya.

Updating each other. Update sikit-sikit tentang those people around us. Lovey dovey thingy macam biasa. Dan a few new things.. Hehe. Sesi kena confront pun ada juga. Biasalah dia tu. Kalau semua kawan-kawan nak yang menyokong je, bila nak sedar diri.

I tend to think about the past kan. Perasan tak? Saya perasan juga sejak baru-baru ini, but now that one of my friends dah speak out, so it's obvious now - I'm chronic! @_@ So let's revise things up, shall we?

Occasionally, I love to read back all of my diaries. I love to look back to things I am supposed to already get over it but I keep on hurting myself to think about it, which is not good but ironically, I don't mind at all. The main reason I took 4 years to forget my first love is that, I still live in his memories.. well. I was a sad person. Maybe, still am. But he's nothing compare to the current one.. I miss you Armin. Ceh ceh tiba-tiba sangat.

Tengok balik cerita-cerita lama antara saya dan first love, wow, I'm glad I'd get over him. Since? Peristiwa beberapa bulan lepas. Look how things change since 2006 until 2010 then peristiwa Julai hingga ke hari ini @_@ Singkat saja, tiba-tiba this bestfriend datang and things just flow.. Alhamdulillah, alhamdulillah, alhamdulillah. Tahun 2010 ini bagi saya segalanya dipercepatkan dan dipermudahkan :)

Tadi that friend cakap saya tend to think about the past, sebab saya tanya soalan yang sebenarnya dah tak relevan lagi untuk hidup yang sekarang ni. Dia orang yang jadi saksi time tu, so saya tanya how orang ni approach yang ni, how, what, when, lepas tu sendiri-sendiri get jealous padahal benda-benda tu semua dah berlalu bertahun-tahun wth FOR GOD'S SAKE, Fina, there's nothing more going on between those two! (- -") I know the fact. Sometimes I found myself so insecure, so fragile inside. Sometimes I love to be such insecure. Sometimes I'll overreact over irrelevant things, and well, I do act like I'm strong, but deep inside, I AM fragile when it comes to hati dan perasaan. And I hate to admit that, that 'sometimes' is actually 'most of the time'. Ergh.

I need you guys punya comment, obvious sangat ke saya terlalu suka pada memories? << Saya suka phrase ni instead of tend-to-think-about-the-past :P And, how to get over my obsession towards memories/the past or what ever you call it malu sebenarnya nak tanya ni. I buang ego I banyak-banyak just to write this entry so, even tak faham pun don't expect me to explain things balik. This topic is far from my liking, to be honest. So.. - just say something, will you? X(

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  1. me too..suka pada memories.selalu terkenang lepas tu senyum sorang2.hahaha

  2. erm, will u hate me if i said yes?
    to me, sometimes its healthy to speak out rather than simpan sume ni sorg2..

    I've always admired u.
    fina brani tulis wat u feel.
    bende yg fara takkan brani wat.
    becoz it will hurt me to be reminded of the situation when i read it again. mcm denial pon ade gak kan! mcm tak healthy gak kan.

  3. sometimes looking back can make us smile........ tapi kalau menangis sebab looking back, watpa....??? life must go on kan????

  4. [z@ck],
    hi zack. thanks for the concern hahaaaaaaaa T_T

    senyum tu takpe lagi. kalau menangis sorang2 kan ke pathetic. for me, zaman tu dah berlalu, alhamdulillah.

    new life! XD

  5. fara,
    no, silly. i won't hate u my dear faraaaa.. :P u're one of my blogging friends that keep me going for all these while, so thanks so much for the bottom of my heart.. :)

    thanks again! ;)

  6. i think i AM still in love with my first love, dah break up for about a year or two kotttt :)

  7. hi again fina~ :)
    4 me,it is not wrong for u to keep remind bout ur memories coz memories will bring us to be more matured to handle things dat come to us or we may be help someone to handle their problem coz we have d same memories dat they r face on. tp jgn terlalu dibayangi kenangn sbb bole buat kte jd fobia plak nti. simple word,yg elok tu simpn buat diperbaiki,yg xelok tu juz buang jauh2! :)

  8. .s.o.f.i.a,
    My prob is, i suka. Dlu mybe ada cry, but now, i dnt. I guess, sy ni mmg suka memories.. Sy mmggg suka torture diri sndri haha. N even x buat smpai cry pun, still, its not good kan? Tgh nak berubah pelan2 sobs.

  9. muchang,
    hi muchang. Ur name seems familiar to me. Hv we met bfore? Ceh.

    oh, 1st love ya? U'll get thru it 1 day. Jgn pksa diri, let it flow. Time will heals almost everythng (if this applied 2 u situation la hehe) n paling pnting, sntiasa buka hti utk org lain.. ;)

    Sory bg pndpt tnpa dminta XD

  10. anonymous,
    hi, again?? xD

    ur words remind me to 1 quote yg sy pernah hapal time form 3 or 4.. Jap2 sy try ingat balik. Mcm ni kot. 'look at the past, learn from it, then move on.'

    well, they didnt create such quote for nthng aite? :) lama x ingat pasal quote 2.

    btw, sesungguhnya sy suka komen pjg2. Excited lain mcm. Haha