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Need some guidance (UPDATED).
Monday, May 25, 2009 posted at 11:48 ♥


"Jangan sampai anjing dan kucing mula menyanyi".

Teringat pada kata-kata Dolly kepada kami. Semua terdiam sekejap, berfikir. Dolly terus memperdengarkan kami mp3 bunyi anjing sedang menyanyi bersama bunyi kucing. Ceh. Ada-ada saja si Dolly neh. Pandai betul dia ni meredakan suasana tegang. Haha.

Itu baru intro.

Tuan/Puan sekalian (ceh),
Saya sekarang sedang berada di peringkat/fasa di mana sedang gatal nak kahwin. Tahu tak sebab apa? Jangan fikir bukan-bukan nanti Tuhan marah kang. Ngehehe. Begini sebenarnya. Sejak akhir-akhir ini, saya terperasan yang saya cenderung mencari GADUH dengan Sweetheart saya. Hanya untuk sebuah perhatian, sepotong ayat-ayat cinta, sebuah kemesraan, secebis senyum keramahan,.. Yah. Hanya untuk tidak merasa dibiarkan. Tapi Ya ALLAH, sukar sungguh untuk mendapatkan semua itu. Terasa bergegar dunia ini. Sudah puas memprovok dan buat-buat merajuk sehingga merasa diri begitu pathetic. Bukankah seronok kalau sudah berkahwin? Waktu itu syarak dah mengizinkan, boleh tengok hari-hari pulak tu.


Where Is Your Heart? Where? Di mana? Arghhh.."
kata Kelly Clarkson.
Bila saya mula membebel, dia akan menyanyi lagu yang saya tak tahu. Contoh semalam. Lagu Situasi oleh Bunkface. Eh menyanyi pulak dia. Aku tengah berapi-api kat sini boleh pula dia bersenang hati. Dia menyanyi dan telah menekankan suara kat part 'Engkaulah Destinasiku'.. Sumpah terdiam. Dalam hati ada getar yang macam lebih hebat dari dunia yang sedang bergegar. Ada sesuatu yang meresap-resap dan menular-nular masuk ke dalam hati.. Pedih tapi indah. Teka-teki: Apa itu? Saya tak tahu.

Dia sangat manis. Dengan cara yang tersendiri.

Entri ini semata-mata sebuah luahan hati.

I don't believe in the smile that you leave when you walk away
And say goodbye
Well, I don't expect the world to move underneath me
But for God's sake, could you try?
I know that you're true to me.
You're always there, you say you care
I know that you want to be mine






Where is your heart? Because I don't really feel you
Where is your heart? When what I really want is to believe you
Is it so hard? To give me what I need?
I want your heart to bleed, that's all I'm asking for
Oh, where is your heart?







I don't understand
Your love is so cold, it's always me that's reaching out for your hand
And I've always dreamed that love would be effortless
Like a petal falling to the ground
Like a dreamer following his dream







It seems so much is left unsaid
But you can say anything
Oh, anytime you need







Baby, it's just you and me..




Razzi Rahman said,

“Choose the one that you really like NOT love.”

Why?

…because when you like everything about him, you like the way he talk, walk, sit, stand, eat, you like his friends, family, cloths, skin… everything, you like EVERYTHING ABOUT HIM! Then the LOVE will rise up from the inner you.


I am so sorry Sayang. We turn out to be like this. If ever I could be much more understanding and if you could put a little bit more affection and attention.. kita tak akan jadi macam ni. Sayang, it’s easy to say 'I Love You' but do you have what it takes to implement it?

I know men are like elastic rubber band. Dia sendiri ada cakap yang "semakin kurang contact, makin bertambah-tambah sayang dia". Wutttaaa? So straight forward and it hurt me T_______T Memang ada ke lelaki macam tu? Yang tak pandai nak pilih ayat apa untuk diucapkan pada kekasih?

Berdiam diri seharian, dan see if dia cari kita. Saya sendiri dah buat dah macam tu sebenarnya. Still didn't work. Still no affection. Mungkin juga sebab saya have no patience (my bad) atau cara saya yang salah? Well, dalam sehari dia pasti akan mesej. Dia tak pernah nak call sebab.. taktau. Adakah sebab suara saya ni tak merdu? Pelik betul. Saya juga yang selalu call. Just to hear his voice. Yup memang saya too much showing my feeling. Actually, I have been through this kind of love-hurt before di mana saya terlalu kaku untuk menyatakan perasaan sayang (sebenarnya sayang sangat-sangat, sebab first love) saya pada this one guy dan menyebabkan macam-macam konflik berlaku dan akhirnya selepas 6 tahun, kami break dalam keadaan separuh rela. ITU buat saya berazam bahawa untuk my next love (which is NOW), I wanna give him everything I had never do to show how much I care and want to get what I'd never had, but I guess I'd over-do it. Heh.

What should I do? Need some guidance. I want to be loved - with more attention and affection. As for me, true love - kita cari sendiri. Kalau rasa tak sesuai, move on. We can always learn how to love.

Men are from Mars, women are from Venus. I guess that is why kalau tak cukup ilmu, we as women susah nak faham lelaki. Haihhhhh...

Just want to share this :

To men - give MORE attention to your girl.

To women - give MORE acknowledgment to you man.

Terima kasih sudi membaca.


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3 Comments:

Anonymous shima said...

noted.

p/s: bila fina buat luahan hati..sy suka. huhu

29 May, 2009 21:31  
Anonymous shima said...

part 2:

cinta bukan boleh di paksa kan? and, there always (i mean, ALWAYS) a 1st step in everything. true?

sy fhm 1st love-we r trying to give the best of us..sbb we-dont-want-2nd chance. we just want the best.

entah la fina. laki ni pelik. suka main tarik-tali. kejar-mengejar. kita biasa, dia lebih2 pulak. kita lebih2, dia biasa je. ye tak?

love breaks us all, but in the end we are stronger in the broken pieces..

dan betul, things are easier said than done. :) so, just go with the flow kays. xx

30 May, 2009 00:16  
Anonymous Fina said...

shima,

i can't thank you more. shima sgt byk membantu sy. n skurang-kurangnya telah membuka mata sy even sdikit.. terharu T_____T

02 June, 2009 22:38  

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